A Complete Bust of Time

Yesterday was weird. I was on my way to get my, what's come to be, daily frozen yogurt fix from Yoppi (<when">http://www.yelp.com/user_details_review_search?userid=zDltf7SGyDANcA6ndZkF7A&q=yoppi>when ) when I walked right by an ex boyfriend that I hadn't seen in over 2 years. It was the most anticlimactic event and yet was oddly satisfying.

Whenever you imagine a run in with an ex, you think it's going to be this epic scenario: you walk in a bar looking absolutely drop-dead gorgeous in your best outfit, perfect hair and makeup and with like 4 dudes on your arm (okay maybe I'm dreaming a little here). Or at least SOMETHING that is comparable to that. Bottom line, you end up feeling like the winner.

Yah, this was nothing like that. However, I did leave the experience with new found closure that I didn't have before. When I walked by him I felt absolutely nothing (it helped that he looked pretty busted and I myself, looked HOT in my adorable Club Monaco skirt). This was a guy that I was heart broken over for at least a good year. I was completely taken with him and thought I was in love. I can finally say that I got the closure that was long overdue with that relationship. Yippeeee!


On another note, I checked out the Barney's Warehouse Sale in Fort Mason, SF: http://www.yelp.com/biz/barneys-new-york-warehouse-sale-san-francisco What a fucking disappointment. All I have to say is, if I was going to spend $400 on a clutch by a designer I haven't even heard of, I would buy this lovely morsel from YSL at full price WAY before that:




Overall, the sale was a complete bust. I found a beautiful Marc Jacobs skirt in a size 6 that I tried on, oh don't worry, in the middle of the store since they didn't have dressing rooms; it was too big. "DAMNIT!" I screamed out loud. This was my one hope for salvaging this completely dire situation. Oh well, I'm just a few hundred dollars richer today. Ooo speaking of which, I bought a couple lotto tickets last night for the Mega Millions! Wish me luck!

The Upside

I've decided it's time to branch out of my typical Julia-like posts and start writing about anything and everything that's inspiring me on a day-to-day basis. The topics will range anywhere from books to fashion to current events and everything in between. At the moment, Ordinary People by Judith Guest, is tickling my creative energies.

It's a semi older book, published in 1976, and to be honest, I would never have picked it up had it not been for a bad date I was on the other week. The dude that I was chatting with over a glass of wine at Ottimista (mmmmm, great spot in SF - if you're in the area and love wine you must try! http://www.yelp.com/biz/ottimista-enoteca-cafe-san-francisco) and he asked me about what types of books I like to read. I answered with my "cut and paste" description of my sick obsession with David Sedaris and Augustin Burroughs, type reads. I love self deprecating humor, dysfunctional family stories...ya know, the "dark" stuff. He says, well then you've probably read, "Ordinary People!" Sadly I had to burst his painfully boring little bubble to say that in fact, I hadn't read it.

Long story short, and lots of, "Julia, you MUST read this book," later, I was suggesting it for my next book club meeting. Lucky for me (although I would have read it anyway), mostly everyone thought it was a great idea. So! Here I am, smack dab in the middle of this story and I'm loving every word of it. It's been a while since I've taken to a book so favorably. In a string of boring or just flat out bad books (shoot me in the head, Suze Orman) Judith Guest's story about a family struggling with the loss of a child and all the pain and implications that come along with that, is a breath of sobering but fresh air. Not since the Twilight (don't you judge me) series have I been so wrapped up in a story.

What do you know, I knew all those bad dates would eventually amount to something.

xoxo Jules

P.S. It's also been made in to a movie: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081283/

Love Letter to Cow Hollow

7 x 7 magazine is having a neighborhood issue and has asked for 300 word "love letter" submissions. They'll be choosing the top 10 and I've decided to give it a whirl. Here's my attempt at confessing my undying love and devotion to my neighborhood, Cow Hollow:

It’s 6:30AM. I roll over and chuck my alarm across my room as I slowly drift in to consciousness. I get out of bed, look out my window, and notice that it’s a fantastic looking day; a very beautiful day in my neighborhood indeed.

As somebody who has lived in San Francisco for a little over four years, I am well aware that not everyone wears the same rose colored glasses as I do. However, love it or hate it, Cow Hollow will get under your skin, and I don’t just mean because of all the luxurious spas lining Union Street. No matter who you are or where you’re from, your opinion about this neighborhood will illicit passionate remarks on opposite sides of the spectrum.

Haters are quick to discuss its pitfalls: Barbie’s with babies dressed in designer track suits, men with pink popped collars, over priced shops and a night life that screams Alcoholics Anonymous. The lovers, however, have a much more refined perspective.

We see quaint shops with the finest clothing and trinkets that the city has to offer. We see gourmet coffee shops where a quick walk down the block will have you comfortably resting in its confines and sipping on your favorite drink in bliss. We see fabulous restaurants and bars filled to the brim with people beckoning for you to join in on the fun.

Cow Hollow is a lifestyle; It’s a dynamic force of success, professionalism and fun all wrapped in to one, which has been brought about by its people: you, me, the Fashionistas, the Foodies, the, “Bridge and Tunnels,” and everyone else that contributes and believes that this neighborhood is one-of-a-kind. You will hear no complaints from this Barbie about residing here; you can bet your pink popped collar on it.

Yelp Me

I thought I would share with you all a cover letter that I've constructed to send to the Yelp Team. It's in regards to a job that I'm hoping to manipulate them in to giving me and am probably completely unqualified for. Despite the fact that I'm more than likely the last thing they're looking for as far as job experience goes, I tried to demonstrate my likability in this desperate attempt to get their attention.

Dear Yelpsters,

Pick me, pick me!! (Waving hands frantically in the air) I know that you must get hundreds of resumes a day in response to these oh-so-cool jobs; I’m not entirely sure how to get your attention without going as far as to office stalk you (my motto is crazy not classy and yes I do have to repeat that to myself every once and a while). So, I thought maybe simulating the entrance to my future interview for Community Manager might be more appropriate (see above for pick me comment…did you see the waving hands?).

I’ve always had a natural talent for writing. I studied Journalism in college but knew it wasn’t quite the path I wanted to take. I’m much more of a creative, artistic, social person and I always thought my career path would take me loftily in that direction. Sadly, I haven’t quite gotten there yet but as a compromise I’ve pursued a lot of that in my personal life. I write a blog, maniacally yelp and compulsively journal about my daily life and everything that inspires me. I get emails weekly from friends asking me when I’m coming out with my first book.

Along with writing, I’ve always been a huge fan of food, more importantly stuffing my face with it. My brother always used to joke that I was a fat girl trapped in a small frame. As a result, I find myself in a myriad of local businesses weekly. I thrive on trying new places and discovering new favorite dishes. Last week I found the BEST scone I have ever tasted in my life and it kept me giddy for a good week just thinking about it (I’m easily entertained). Hence, this is why Yelp was such an amazing discovery for me. You mean I can stuff my face AND write about it? Sign me up!

I’m currently working as an Executive Assistant for the CEO and CAO of a mid-sized litigation support firm. Despite what might come to mind, my position is well rounded. Aside from the mundane (e.g. travel arrangements, scheduling, document management), I try to involve myself with as many committees and groups inside the firm that time allows. For example, I play an active roll in our Social Committee that plans large events for our office, I take part and contribute to our Green Team and I most recently wrote an article for our firm-wide newsletter (Hoorah, writing!).

On the side of my current position I wrote an article for Builder Architects, an online architectural magazine, late last year that was published (Yay!). I was particularly proud of that article because I had no prior published work and they went on a limb to trust my abilities. It went over famously but unfortunately, as I’m sure you’re aware, the housing market took a plunge and thus, no more articles for me (Boo).

I’ve lived in San Francisco for about four years now and over that time have developed a far reaching network. I flourish on building new relationships and making new connections. There’s nothing that pleases me more than to see a new contact pop up in my email, Facebook, or any of the other zillions of ways that people can get in to contact with me. I adore new experiences. I don’t hide. I welcome new people, information and ideas in to my life on a daily basis. It’s my reason for living.

This brings me to why you should at least give me the opportunity to meet with you regarding this position. Aside from the fact that I’m useful, funny and cool, I’m relentlessly determined to be at a job and business that inspires me on a daily basis. I’m a glass half full kind of girl; I can make anything a good time with the right attitude. I’m an aggressive problem solver. I will work tirelessly until a job is done and done well. I can’t stand it when things are hanging over my head and therefore am not a procrastinator. I prefer and work better when I’m petal to the medal busy. Lastly, I have potential – great heaping piles of it.

If I haven’t at least inspired you to shoot an email my way or to pick up the phone with all this narcissism, I must not be nearly as interesting as I thought. Nonetheless, I would absolutely love it if you kept me in mind for any jobs that you think might be an appropriate fit. Working for the Yelp team would be a dream come true.

Sincerely,

Julia Gleason

Steering Miss Crazy

Sometimes I wonder if I’m a sane person. I have a job, lots of great friends and a healthy, loving relationship with my parents. These things would indicate that I am, but every so often, a person will come in to my life that drives me so bat shit crazy I question whether or not it’s me that is really the problem. Then I remember that this simply cannot be because, hello, I’m perfect. I guess one could argue that there are always two sides to every problem and thus two contributors as well. However, I am not going to make that argument because I think it’s a crock of shit; sometimes it really is JUST the other person. Alright, maybe I don’t believe that but for the sake of this blog, I can do no wrong.

A few weeks back I met a woman out at a bar through a mutual friend. At first click she seemed very friendly and warm; we quickly hit it off until I realized I was being sucked in to a vortex of loco. My first inclination that something might be off upstairs was when she told me that I had, “…nice earlobes.” Nice earlobes, huh? I asked her what about them she was so keen on and she responded with, “They’re cute because they have little fuzzies all over them.” Huh…you don’t say. Fuzzies? What the fuckidy fuck?

As if that comment alone wasn’t enough to fake an IBS attack (eh, probably not worth the charade of holding my ass and running to the bathroom – embarrassing and too much work), she couldn’t seem to stop talking about it. It was as if her brain was stuck on rewind and had to keep reliving the conversation over and over (and over!) again. “I like earlobes for some reason. They are very feminine and soft. Yah, yah, I really do like earlobes. They feel great. Uh huh, yes, my friend has great earlobes too,” and so on and so forth just like that until I had no choice but to mentally check out. I contemplated tossing my drink in her face just to get her to talk about something else.

A short while later a friend walked over which naturally moved the conversation in a different direction. My friend started talking about celebrity gossip, more specifically Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson’s lesbian shit show of a relationship. As if this conversation wasn’t painfully vapid enough, to my horror, this girl did the same exact thing with this subject as well. “Lindsay Lohan is a lesbian? I just can’t believe that, man. Dude, I just can’t believe that. Is she really a lesbian? Yah, she’s really a lesbian. Yah, yah, she has to be right? You can’t just fake something like that. Yah, yes, she’s really a lesbian…wow, I can’t believe it.” I look over at my friend to see if she’s noticed and her eyes were completely glazed over, mouth slightly open from disbelief (or a mental breakdown?). The lucky bitch’s boyfriend swung by and took her away; my only salvation gone, GONE! I silently cursed myself for being single.

I tried everything to step away from this woman. I tried pawning her off on other people; gravitating towards other groups, looking at my watch, checking my phone like I had to take a call; none of my leaving cues seemed to affect her. That bitch followed me around for a good two hours before I begrudgingly resigned myself to a night of verbal accosting.

It got to the point where if I didn’t get her away from me quickly my teeth were going to be ground down to little nubs. I had hit my breaking point. I looked her straight in the eye and said, “I’m sorry…but have you noticed that for the last two hours we’ve talked about a total of 3 topics? None of which were very interesting?” I felt bad the second after I said it but shit, how else was I going to salvage my night? I felt she needed to know what a disservice she doing to mankind (read ME)

She looked at me, clearly stung, and said, “Well, maybe if you had contributed more to the conversation I wouldn’t have had to do all the steering.” You’re right. What was I thinking? I had countless openings that I refused to take advantage of right between your ramblings about earlobes, Lohan and cheese. I turned on my heel, said good bye to friends and hailed a cab. I’m really not a rude person (most of the time) but damnit, ::cue desperately pulling out hair:: earlobes, Lohan and cheese, People! I’m not the crazy one, right…right?